An Awkward Thought for a Wednesday Afternoon

Okay, so I kind of have this health problem.  It was discovered recently, and it’s not serious.  Well, it’s more accurate to say that it’s not likely to progress from curable to serious.  Still, it has to be managed with careful observation and, as a worst case scenario, very minor outpatient surgery (meaning I won’t have to spend a night in the hospital or anything).  The surgery part isn’t a guarantee, it’s a “maybe.”  Even if it becomes a must, it won’t be anything crazy.  In fact, it wouldn’t even be entirely correct to call it surgery, but rather moderately aggressive interference.  With some kind of electrical device.  

It won’t be as painful as it sounds.  I hope.  

Basically, I’m not all that worried.

Anyways, I know how I contracted this problem.  I got it from doing something that wasn’t in my best interests health-wise.  It wasn’t anything crazy – or even rare or unusual – but it wasn’t particularly wise.  I could have done things differently.  

However, I’m comforted by the knowledge that this was preventable.  I’m relieved that it had a defined trigger, and didn’t spontaneously occur.  Mystery, in this case, is a terrifying entity to deal with.

After I found out exactly what was ailing me (and why), I shared my wisdom (which I thought was actually common knowledge in this enlightened era) with a former “victim” and she looked doubtful, and a little scandalized.  

She hoped it wasn’t true, and that I was misinformed.  She dared not believe that ___ is caused by ____.  The ailment, she said, was no different from lupus or [some types of] cancer.  It appeared randomly and without provocation – a mere stroke of bad luck.

Even if something undesirable is caused by inadvisable behavior, is it not a little bit of a relief to know that ill fortune didn’t befall you randomly?  That you now understand the cause and can prevent such things from happening in the future?  Isn’t it just a relief to know why something happened?  Are all people not comforted by understanding cause and effect?  I know I am, I don’t like to spend too much time wondering why.  I like a firm “how.”    

Besides, the sooner you identify problems the sooner you can fix them, and the sooner you can (if need be) adjust your behavior accordingly.   

The good thing is that I know from whence this issue came, and I’ve accepted my involvement.  I’m not drowning in the throes of shame or embarrassment.  I’m not guilt-stricken, either.  I’m just relieved, really, to know the “hows” and the “whys.”  

P.S. I don’t have HIV or herpes.  

P.P.S. You all thought I had herpes, didn’t you?

P.P.P.S. Pigs.